Thursday, December 27, 2007

Film students = Satan.

I’ve been considering changing my major for the entire semester. Yes, I would like to direct and write my own films but I don’t know if that means I have to major in film. Most of my favorite directors majored in subjects like philosophy and creative writing, which is what I’d like to be doing right now. I’ll remain a film major for at least one more year. If things go awry I will switch my major to creative writing and eventually go to graduate school for film. I’m definitely planning on going to graduate school for film so I’m not sure if getting a BA in film is necessary anyways.

I haven’t had great experiences with the many film classes I’ve taken or with other film majors. I’ve taken four film classes at UCLA, two film classes in high school, and one class at Paramount studios and I entered SFSU with college credit from these film classes. These classes have taught me how to create bad formulaic films and that I despise most film majors. It seems that film majors are naturally the most competitive and pretentious people you’ll ever met.

Yes, I have met some amazing people who are film majors but in the long run most film majors that I’ve met aggravate me immensely. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of meeting film majors who will later on make straight to video sequels to Michael Bay’s films.

At my UCLA film class I came face to face with the ultimate douche “film major”. Her name was Andrea. She was pure evil. She deleted another student’s footage and even though she claimed it was on “accident”, she obviously disliked the student. She even made several remarks about how she hoped that the student would fail the class.

I could tell from the first day I met her that she was going to get on my nerves. After you said hello to her she instantly needed to tell you how her love for film stemmed from way back to when she was five years old, and that she could recall making horror movies on super 8 film at five and a half. I realized she was bad news when these stories changed depending on whom she was talking to. Sometimes she made horror movies on film and other times her first films were documentaries about AIDS made on DV tapes. This made a lot of sense, after all, in elementary school most students want to be more involved in spreading awareness about sexually transmitted diseases.

I could tell Andrea hated me too. In our first conversation, I corrected her and then at least ten of our peers started laughing at her. This was obviously not a good start to a friendship. I wasn’t trying to be cruel though. I just asked her what her favorite genre of film was. She replied that her favorite genre of film “was probably foreign films.” I told her that this was not a genre of film, but a type of film and she acted like I was a complete idiot. I laughed it off. “I know that foreign films may have a separate section at the video store you go too but if a comedy is in french it’s still a comedy, not just “a foreign film.” I mean thank God, right. If we were from a foreign country, we’d be limited to just one genre.” Andrea did not find my remark to be helpful or humorous.

Aside from the fact that she is competitive, jealous, and mean-spirited, Andrea also made awful short films. Andrea got away with creating two short films based on Sprint commercials. Yes, I had to sit for 60 minutes, analyzing two short films, and discuss the character development of a cell phone. Andrea even proudly admitted to our professor that these commercials were inspiration for her short films. I couldn’t handle it. Every student in the class had to give their input. The most pretentious student in the class couldn’t stop raving about the film. “ I really like the character arc of the cell phone. It was amazing how much depth was given to this inanimate object.” When it came to my turn, I had a hard time searching for the correct words. “Listen, I’m intrigued by the idea of making an inanimate object more complex. However watching a twenty minute movie based on a one minute commercial was hard for me. That was the most vapid cell phone I have ever seen. I can guarantee you that the blackberry cell phone in my pocket is more dynamic.”

I thought the vapid cell phone remark was clever. Andrea did not.

The point to all of this is:

A.) I am bad at forming friendships with film majors


B) I’d rather switch majors than sit through another lecture where I discuss the character arc of a cell phone for an entire hour.